Here’s one of the things I like most about blogging: Being able to get a perspective from other people without it feeling like straight up judgement. I love getting comments. I know not all posts warrant comments, but I love when the posts that do, do.
So, I’ve gone on about a lot of things since I started this blog over a year ago. Lately, I’ve gone on rants about feeling old for the first time and having to change plans more than some children need their diapers changed. Lately, I’ve felt like my life is caving in, but when I take a step back, I realize I’m definitely one of the lucky ones. I just happen to be one of the unlucky lucky ones… if that makes any sense.
Anyway, I just thought I would ramble on about something that’s been “niggling” at me lately, as the Scottish would say.
Travel… Oh, travel.
I’ve done a lot of it, but I can’t seem to get enough of it. But something I’ve learned over the years is that true, rewarding experiences can’t always be realized when you jet in and out of places like most Americans do. So, of course, when I think about visiting Southeast Asia, South America, and Africa, I don’t think about how much I can squeeze into a week, I think about when the next best time is to take a month off and explore.
I’ve already decided that, when it comes time to negotiate a contract for my first big girl job, vacation time will be at or near the top of the list. Because I know what burnout looks like, feels like and ends up like. So yeah, I like to think of it as putting my sanity at the top of the list of negotiations.
And then my mind wanders to what my hypothetical future partner will want and how our hypothetical children will grow up. Jesus Christ, what has the 25th year done to me? I think about all these seemingly natural life progressions all the time, all the while thinking “Good Lord, that is soooooo not what I want right now.”
So, here I am, sitting in my pj’s, relaxing under the covers on a Saturday night (yeah, I saved publishing this for later), questioning everything about my future, all the while, not appreciating my present.
Can somebody please come snap me out of this?