Snap out of it!

Here’s one of the things I like most about blogging: Being able to get a perspective from other people without it feeling like straight up judgement. I love getting comments. I know not all posts warrant comments, but I love when the posts that do, do.

So, I’ve gone on about a lot of things since I started this blog over a year ago. Lately, I’ve gone on rants about feeling old for the first time and having to change plans more than some children need their diapers changed. Lately, I’ve felt like my life is caving in, but when I take a step back, I realize I’m definitely one of the lucky ones. I just happen to be one of the unlucky lucky ones… if that makes any sense.

Anyway, I just thought I would ramble on about something that’s been “niggling” at me lately, as the Scottish would say.

Travel… Oh, travel.

I’ve done a lot of it, but I can’t seem to get enough of it. But something I’ve learned over the years is that true, rewarding experiences can’t always be realized when you jet in and out of places like most Americans do. So, of course, when I think about visiting Southeast Asia, South America, and Africa, I don’t think about how much I can squeeze into a week, I think about when the next best time is to take a month off and explore.

I’ve already decided that, when it comes time to negotiate a contract for my first big girl job, vacation time will be at or near the top of the list. Because I know what burnout looks like, feels like and ends up like. So yeah, I like to think of it as putting my sanity at the top of the list of negotiations.

And then my mind wanders to what my hypothetical future partner will want and how our hypothetical children will grow up. Jesus Christ, what has the 25th year done to me? I think about all these seemingly natural life progressions all the time, all the while thinking “Good Lord, that is soooooo not what I want right now.”

So, here I am, sitting in my pj’s, relaxing under the covers on a Saturday night (yeah, I saved publishing this for later), questioning everything about my future, all the while, not appreciating my present.

Can somebody please come snap me out of this?

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2 thoughts on “Snap out of it!

  1. I totally feel the exact same way.
    wish I had some advice for ya, but mostly I just sit around watching tv shows and try not to thing about it till I absolutely have to. which is probably not the way to go.
    ❤ anyways.

  2. Alright, not sure if I’ll snap you out of it, but…

    A long, long, long time ago I was your age. I was so tightly wound. I had tunnel vision because it was all about the future — nothing about the present. My life was solely about how to get me twenty light years ahead: work, school, work, school. Until one day, while sitting at my desk and no real life outside of work to speak of, I said, “Enough.” All those times when I could have been living and appreciating things in the present, I’d somehow missed as if in a blur. I was seemingly going a mile a minute about everything. That whole “stopping to smell the roses” — well, I had no concept of that. It took me into my 3rd decade to snap myself out of it.

    I won’t use the word “regret” because everything truly happens in your life in a certain way for a reason. It was a hard lesson-learned — a little late, yes, but I still had time to change the behavior. Life is for living. Don’t rush through everything. Pump the brakes. You don’t want to ever look back in your life and have the reaction of, “What the h*ll just happened??”

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